When Harry Met Sally & A Sandwich You Won't Have To Fake It With
the quintessential romcom & a real-orgasm worthy sandwich
When Harry Met Sally is the quintessential romcom. The romcom of romcoms. It tells the story of two friends developing their friendship as they navigate their separate romantic relationships, while the audience yells “just kiss already!” throughout. Of course, the two eventually do, which leads to its own sea of complications. And though the movie is equally about Harry and Sally, there’s a reason the quintessential romcom is called When Harry Met Sally and not the other way around.
Of course, I’m not the first to say this. We meet Harry as he’s macking on his girlfriend, who’s about to introduce him to Sally, whom Harry will drive cross country with. Sally tries to look away, patiently waiting for Harry during his (frankly, gross) kiss. He then gets in her car, spits a grape seed at the window (somehow not realizing said window is rolled up), and starts criticizing her immediately (ah, men). His criticisms are framed as charming, which only works because romcom royalty Nora Ephron wrote the script and could make a garbage bin seem charming. When the two stop for food, we get the first taste of what Harry perceives to be Sally’s fatal flaw: the fact that she’s “high-maintenance.” A wonderful writer for The Atlantic, Megan Garber, talks all about this in her piece about how this movie created the concept of the high-maintenance woman, which I highly recommend!
So they stop for food, and Sally places her order, which is extremely complicated (read: high maintenance). And look, as a waitress who spent the last 6 years in the industry, I would hate if Sally sat at one of my tables. But this perceived flaw of Sally’s (and her only real “flaw” by the way) is basically just that, well, she knows what she wants. She even says this in a late-night phone call with Harry when he introduces her to his label of “high maintenance,” referencing the way she orders food. She replies, “well I just want it the way I want it.” And, dear reader, I am asking you, especially those of you that are not cis-men, when was the last time you asked for exactly what you want. When was the last time you even knew exactly what you wanted? I envy this trait in Sally so deeply! It takes me at least an hour to decide on an outfit, even if it’s just for dinner with friends. And for that same dinner, I have to know where we’re going at least a couple hours before, so I can look at the menu before we go, because it always takes me forever to decide. But Sally, she knows what she wants! She knows how to order and how to make herself happy. Which leads me to the scene everyone thinks of when they think of When Harry Met Sally. Yes, the fake orgasm scene.
Because, friends, I think the two are connected. In this famous scene, Sally illuminates Harry to the truth that many cis-women fake orgasms in bed. (Why do we do this? Well there are a million reasons and if you’re interested in figuring them out, I would suggest you start with google-searching the word “patriarchy” and go from there.) When she suggests this, Harry scoffs, saying he knows a woman has never faked it with him. And, as if that assumption alone were a dare, Sally performs the most wonder fake orgasm right there in the restaurant (close up on director Rob Reiner’s mother saying the line “I’ll have what she’s having”).
And if we extrapolate from here, and I’m going to so buckle up, if we all knew a little bit more what we wanted, and asked for it, whether in the bedroom OR in a restaurant, maybe we’d be a little happier. Which leads me back to my central point: the movie is about Harry meeting Sally, because from the beginning, Sally knows what she wants! She doesn’t settle, she knows her tastes, and she makes it happen. Harry, on the other hand, has to do all of the growing in this movie (once again, men). So with that in mind, I ask that we all take a page from Sally’s book, and start asking for exactly what we want (as long as it isn’t at someone else’s expense). And let’s start here: with this HIGHLY customizable breakfast sandwich, or what I would like to dub “The Sandwich You’ll Never Have To Fake It With.
the breakfast sandwich you’ll never have to fake it with
There are two tricks to a perfect sandwich: quality ingredients and technique. This sandwich is highly customizable, in that the method should remain the same, but the ingredients can change depending on what you want! Like fresh or caramelized onions instead of pickled? Make that! Cheese instead of avocado? Go for it. But here’s the best sandwich I’ve made and eaten in all of quarantine.
INGREDIENTS:
Two slices sourdough bread
½ a shallot
White wine vinegar
2 slices of bacon
Half an avocado
½ a ripe tomato
1 egg
Avocado
Mayonnaise
Hot sauce
Slice the shallot thin, place it in a shallow bowl, and cover it with white wine vinegar. Let it sit.
Set your oven to 400 degrees. Put in two slices of bacon (you can put them in while the oven is still heating up), and check on it in about 6 minutes, and then leave it in until it’s at your desired crispness.
How to get golden brown bread: slice your bread, and spread mayonnaise on each side. Put a pan on medium heat, and griddle the slices of toast, turning every minute or so, until each side is golden brown.
Remove the bread, add oil or butter to the pan. Let it heat up over medium heat (or medium low heat, depending on your stove). Crack an egg in a bowl (not directly in a pan) and then delicately empty the bowl into the pan. If you’re like me and like a yolky egg, let it sit for about a minute, then flip the egg delicately, turn off the heat, and let it sit in the pan for a couple minutes.
Now you’re going to assemble the sandwich. Spread avocado on each slice of your toasted bread (top with some salt and pepper). On one slice of bread, add the bacon, egg, and hot sauce. On the other slice add arugula, tomato, and quick-pickled onions. Put the first slice on the second. Cut in half. Devour.